Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Top 5 Business Changes Detroit Will Make

So the Big 3 auto companies showed up in the nation's capitol with their "Will Grovel For Bailout Money" signs, their hats in their hands, and flashing their validated parking stubs. They presented their shiny new business plans to Congress - no slouches themselves when it comes to skillfully wasting grotesque sums of money. Right Wing Ramblings got an early draft copy of the companies' proposal of what they would do with the bailout money, and have presented it in Top 5 format:

5) Restructure UAW contracts so that union employees' salaries are only twice as much as the amount of revenue they produce.

4) Hire President-elect Obama to hypnotize his minions into purchasing Escalades and Expeditions instead of Camrys and Priuses.

3) Eliminate our dependency on foreign oil by designing cars that run directly on taxpayer dollars.

2) Finally drag out that 80mpg carburetor they've been hiding for 40 years.

1) Purchase a regional Federal Reserve Bank, then print more money.

1 Comment:

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