Friday, February 13, 2009

Obama to Have Zero Approval Rating by May

President Obama, who enjoyed approval ratings as high as the eighties at the start of his administration, is stinging from a surprising 20-point drop in his approval rating in only three weeks. We at RWR borrowed one of Al Gore's Global Warming computers, and ran Obama's approval rating slump through it.

The results are staggering. In just 3 short months, before Memorial Day in fact, President Obama will have the lowest approval rating in presidential history. And it looks to only get worse. By July, according to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CaliPornia), more than 500 million people per month will be added to the disapproval roster.

Obama's aides are feverishly working to stem the tide, which anonymous sources claim must be slowed by the Ides of March, or else the momentum will be too quick to turn around. These sources say that his puppeteers are teaching the President how to read "My Pet Goat", a familiar children's storybook, to a nearby elementary school before the month is out. "It worked before, it'll work again," mused Vice President Biden, who spoke from an undisclosed location.