Thursday, February 5, 2009

Top 10 Bad Things That Will Happen if the Stimulus Bill is Not Passed

As previously reported here at satire center (or 'satire far right'), President Left-of-Sane has demanded that Congress immediately pass a spending bill equivalent to the cost of all US-attended wars combined, or else.

Or else what? We at RWR will dutifully answer the 'what' with the Top 10 Bad Things that will happen if the Depression Stimulus Bill is not immediately passed:

10) The Church of Scientology will have to offer a 20% discount on achieving OT IV and up
9) We'll never make that switch to digital television
8) Who's going to subsidize all those anti-war George W. Bush Hatemovies?
7) Gitmo will have to draw down to 2 Quran toilet flushings per day
6) American Idol will be forced to show reruns of Sanjaya in perpetuity
5) Someone might find a job without Obama taking the credit
4) 500 million Americans will lose their jobs every month
3) The Capitol Building men's rooms will run out of those condoms with Barney Frank's face on them
2) If Obama raises his hands, he won't be able to lift your wallet
1) A Republican (George W. Bush) will still hold the record for largest stimulus bill